Ran to Tar-jzay {is that a weird spelling?} the other night {second time this week and it was only Tuesday} to return a bleepin' bra that, of course, didn't fit. Why would I ever bother to purchase a bra from Target anyway? I know better. The bigs each had $ to spend there as well, so we strolled the aisles. Kyle earned two bucks for washing grandpa's truck and it was making him crazy that the boys were getting to buy something so he just had to spend those bills. I rationalized with him into at least listening to me while he bantered. I told him he could either buy one prize for two or two prizes for one each. It was a tough decision. He bought the first thing I showed him. A police set in the dollar aisle. Fitting.
By the time we hit the Lego section for Andrew, all hell had broken loose. I think I'm done shopping with Kyle. After tonight anyway. He gets on borrowed nerves every time we're out. Of course, as I once again attempted to rationalize like mother of the year when it is clearly evident I don't know what I am doing, I hear a horrifyingly familiar voice. I say horrifyingly for no other reason than the voice was talking to Caleb which translates into this voice knows Caleb, probably me as well and had just witnessed my ranting. Perfect. By the time the voice came around the corner to chat, Kyle had tackled Caleb to the ground. Really? My head hurts just recollecting the evening. I just wanted to return a bra. I spent more than 55.00. How does that happen? And... Caleb, Andrew and Kyle all paid for their own stuff.
The real purpose of the second Muskegon trip in two days was to get Caleb new running shoes. I am a Nike liker but an Asics lover. Truth be told I only like the look of Nike shoes. They are much cuter than other athletic shoes. But the support...don't even get me started. Kyle promised me he'd be an angel while we looked at shoes. Then he proceeded to run around the track. And then run the aisle to shoot hoops. Then...{you get the idea} I couldn't focus on a thing. I tried asking the salesboy a question when I heard screaming and crying. I looked over, no more than 6 feet or so away, to see Caleb laying on top of Kyle on the floor. Now realize that at the time I was mortified by both of them, but right now I cannot control my laughter at the thought of what I just typed. Son of a b...after half yelling, "What the hell...?" to Caleb, I grabbed Kyle by the {I don't even know what} and pretty much drug him to the restroom, which was in itself a treat. Kyle doesn't enjoy perusing the women's facilities. He's a boy. I know I am the parent but seriously, I cannot argue with him every time and have him scream over using the wrong bathroom. I'm sure the people outside thought I was beating his little tush. Don't think it didn't cross my mind. However, I was simply telling him he had to pee in the women's bathroom. The nerve of me. Anyway, {this is long} I get out to the shoes again and asked Caleb what posessed him to do whatever it was that he did to have me find him on top of Kyle and he told me that Kyle tackled him again. Does someone else want my life? How about my kids? I can't count the number of times in the past 7 days I have told Kyle I am leaving him {at a store} and he says good and I tell him someone else will take him home and he says good and I tell him the person will always bring him back because he is so naughty. Three was tough. Four was supposed to get easier. What's up with 4 1/2?
On the way home, Kyle ravaged his mac and cheese{changed his mind about the pretzel}{did that sound dirty?} and tore open his goods. {the police stuff} He got a whistle, {I only asked him 17 times not to blow it in the van} badge, baton, {the boys thought it was called a beating stick. nice}something else and a walkie- talkie. He was hot and heavy into making emergency calls all the way home. "2-9-9...2-9-9...I need a ambiance..." Hopefully, he gets a job in construction.
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