'Makes Me Sad...

Days like today make me sad. (so much for Christmas spirit) I love my life, don't get me wrong. I've made many mistakes in my past and have regretted many but have learned from them all. I am sorry Pat and I didn't work out. I never imagined I would be a divorcee. It certainly wasn't a goal of mine, but I wouldn't change a thing. I have a wonderful life in my own wonderful world. Days like today, however, I am sad for having to share my children. I miss out on so much every Monday, Thursday and every other Friday and Saturday. The boys had a half day of school yesterday and I left work to pick them up and they hung out at Northland with me until Jen picked them up. Andrew mentioned that he had to type a story by this morning. I told him to work on it when he got to his dad's. This morning I was checking blog updates and read a post that broke my heart. It was a post on Jen's blog about Andrew and his story. She posted his story if you want to check it out. It wasn't the story that made me sad, but I want to add that, for a fish, I was surprisingly emotional over Squishy's death. What made me sad was that I wasn't the one to get to post it because yesterday was Thursday...not my day. It is a story about an incident that happened at my house last year regarding the death of Andrew's fish. It revolved around a conversation Andrew and I had, Keith taking him into the woods to give Squishy a proper burial and a prayer Andrew said for his fish. I t was a very sweet interpretation of that sad time. I am very lucky and very proud to be both Andrew's and Caleb's mom. They light up my life every day...even on my off days. We are all so blessed to have those young men in our lives. It just makes me sad.