2.28.2011

Tears From Heaven...

My struggle with {my} church is ongoing.  I've prayed.  I've researched.  I've talked.  I've cried.  I've screamed and yelled.  I've been scared.  I've repeated all these things numerously.  I've semi-come to an answer, which made me repeat all these things again.  Yesterday in church, during the closing hymn, I cried.  Now I've cried before in church.  Like on Mother's Day.  And Confirmation Sundays.  And Graduation Sundays.  I'm a mess those days, but I'm always smiling through the tears.  Yesterday was different then I've ever experienced.  As soon as I started singing the words, the tears just came.  I kept having to stop singing to breath so I wouldn't make any funny sounds and draw attention to myself fourth pew from the front.  In front of the choir no less. {they were leading us}  The words were perfect.  The music was perfect.  I've been searching for peace for some time now.  I think I may have found it.

Peace be yours.  May the Lord be with you
As we gather now and your whole life through,
Blessing and mercy and wholeness, too.
May God's peace be yours.

Peace be yours as you scatter from here.
Anywhere you go, God is always near.
Loving and calming your deepest fear.
May God's peace be yours.

Seek your strength where the Lord does abide,
When the greatest evil is at your side.
In Word and Sacrament, Christ resides.
May God's peace be yours.

Always know He has conquered the one
Who defies your life in God's only Son.
Yours is the struggle that Christ has won.
May God's peace be yours.

I am ready to figure this out, knowing God will be my right-hand man.  Having a Christ-centered husband on my other side doesn't hurt a bit either.  He's totally been my go-to guy and I appreciate and love him so much.  Thanks, K. ☺

Date night proved to be memorious.  I imagine that isn't a real word but it makes total sense to me.  So I was looking for a new light fixture for the bath.  We bought one that K installed months ago but when I picked it out, I didn't realize the fan/light he picked out was so modern.  The two together look ridiculous.  I don't really have a budget for a new fixture but he does have a use for the current one so I guess that's a start.  I didn't find anything at Lowe's and I'm so tired of looking for things.  I decided to pull the old fixture out of the Goodwill bag and try my hand at painting it first.  No harm done if it doesn't turn out.  I already have the paint and for the cost of globes {not really the word I'm looking for} I could possibly be ahead.

I found hardware but it isn't really what I want.  At all.  Darn you, pictures in my head.  If not for you, I'd have another thing checked off my list.  Oh well.  My mom has a hardware catalog so maybe my luck hasn't expired. Yet.

The other two things on my list are a mirror and a picture rail.  Again, I know what I want for a mirror, and Lowe's has it, but not in the right color.  I considered buying it anyway, sanding, priming and painting it but I couldn't convince myself to do it to a new piece.  Dragging my feet doesn't seem to help either.  I don't intend to use the picture rail for pictures at all.  Actually it's a narrow ledge I'm in need of...hmm...and I just started thinking...hmm...I plan on making the ledge myself {that's not what I was thinking about...I was just interrupted by my thoughts} because my other options out there are ridiculously priced!

Once we get these details taken care of, we can move the project tub back into our bath to re-grout and reseal our tiled shower.  Isn't it absurd how we all shared a bathroom all this time only to move and all share a shower in one room and share a sink in another?  Good gracious!!  The boys can totally use their bath but we need to get a move on in our own shower now.  It was basically brand new when we all moved in there last spring but using it for only that short amount of time has caused damage to the grout.  Gimme a break!!  Someday...

So, we left Lowe's empty-handed and headed to Sam's .  Spent more than I planned to and decided to hit Meijer while we were at it.  Hubby wasn't too pleased.  He got over it.  I know it's because he was ready for a Criminal Minds' marathon!  It was so funny to see so many familiar faces grocery shopping on a Friday night.  Luckily I don't do it often.  Is this what date night consists of as the kids get older?  Geesh.

Saturday we headed to Grand Haven for Caleb's ball game.  That poor buddy was sick.  I cannot remember if I mentioned last week that he stayed home from school Friday but he did.  Saturday he said he felt fine, just had no voice and a bit of a sore throat.  You can't kid a kidder, son.  He was only fooling himself.  He played a bit and was out the rest of the game.  I could tell from across the gym that he was miserable.  I just wanted to run over to him and hold him tight and cuddle up.  It broke my heart that he wasn't coming home with me.  I just wanted to take care of him. {Sunday morning he surprised me at Sunday School and sounded tons better.  Unfortunately he missed out on skiing with a friend}

That evening we headed out, in crappy weather I may add, to Handsome Henrys for dinner with friends.  We had a great time and laughed a ton.  We chose to skip bowling to, instead, head closer to home and hang out some more.  We landed at Pub One Eleven.  It was a pretty slow night and the band wasn't a dancing kind of band, but we still hung out and laughed some more.  It was great to hang out with these yahoos whom I don't often see.  Sadly, two of them are my neighbors.{to the right...or left...depends where you're standing}

Oh, while at Lowes we looked at front load washers and dryers. {I almost forgot}  I'm not excited about lots of choices so I was overwhelmed.  I checked out Consumer Reports but I was also overwhelmed.  They're the new cool thing and having a counter in my laundry room is on the top of my list but I'm not totally sold.  I will not pay for the bases, although cool, because they are too expensive.  Keith said he'd build me a base but I'm still not sold.  Today a Maytag repairman said to upgrade to a high efficiency, extra large capacity top load model.  He said there are lots of problems with the front loads with their seals and such.  I need no extra laundry room drama!!  I have plenty already.  I just need a counter and some paint. {one of the two untouched rooms in my entire house...three if you count the utility room...half bath in it's future}  Back to the drawing board. {the savings is totally worth some sort of happiness though}

Life is slowing down this week {for this week only I imagine} so I hope to get another ten bags filled in my forty bags in forty days quest.  I'm not feeling good about it yet because I know I'm being to territorial with my stuff.  I'm not letting go of stuff I really need to say buh-bye to.  This is clearly a process.  One that won't be done in just forty bags.  The good news is I have recycled tons.  WOOT!

And if I don't already have enough on my home plate, there's always the kitchen.  A couple of years ago K and I talked about redoing the floor, moving the snack bar, {totally erasing it from my kitchen} getting a new counter top and appliances.  Well, after ripping out our small tile bath floor, we decided a big, fat NO! was in order.  My BIL suggested putting a floor on top of our current floor.  He's a floor guy so he knows.  The only problem is if we move the bar, we have a hole.  If we keep the bar and add flooring, we'll never get out our icky old dishwasher.  Nada.  My mother suggested this grout dye she used in her basement bath.  What a splendid idea!  I'm totally hooked.  Since I cannot move my bar, I am still in the market to lower that counter top by still technically getting rid of the bar.  I've always wanted one counter top there...not an interrupted one.  My bigger peeve is that that cabinet/bar area totally cuts off my kitchen.  I have a space on the other side that begs for a table and chairs but I don't want any there.  I don't need a table and chairs with bar stools right behind them and a {neglected} dining room table and chairs on the other side of the kitchen.  Much too much.  Besides, if I add a table there, I will have yet another spot to clutter up.  Ugh.

Well, the whole point to this is...I remembered I gave my friend the extra tile from the kitchen!  Okay, I am not a louse.  I would never take back something I gave away...except maybe if I give her different tile {for her bath} I might be able to get the other stuff back.  It's something I'm thinking about.  My true plan is to remove that cabinet completely from it's current location so there is no break in the kitchen action and repurpose the cabinet as more cabinet space down the wall.  It's a fabulous plan and one that is {haha, or should be} easily doable.  It would be super handy to have listed photos so this post isn't totally nutty, eh??



I guess the bottom line is it's a never ending race to the proverbial making-our-house-our-home finish line.

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